Spring Wish List

Don’t you wish you had ALL the money? Ugh, me too! I can’t be the only one who starts lists of things I want, knowing fully well I won’t get most of the stuff on my list, right? Today I’m sharing what’s on my “wish” list, knowing fully well I can’t have ALL THE THINGS…. I like to dream (that I’m rich, young, and slender he he).

What’s on your list for spring? If you could grab anything, money aside, what would it be?

xo

Spring Wish List Spring Wish List

midi dress, swing dress, strapless palm dress, flamingo pool toy, graphic tee, pom pom sandal, striped romper, lace top

The Bigger Person

I recently ran into an old friend turned enemy. The encounter was unbelievably awkward. While we were cordial to one another and it was not an unpleasant interaction, I was left flooded with old feelings that just reminded me why I stopped liking this person and why I no longer wanted to be her friend. I struggle with feelings like this because, well, I’m a collector of friends. Did you know that? I am good friends with just about every person I have ever called my “best” friend… with the exception of only this person. While I don’t make new friends often, when I do make friends, I make them for life. It is incredibly difficult for me to include people in my life and when I do, I expect them to be there for the long haul. It was hard for me to accept that fool’s gold exists.

Why am I writing this? Because…ew. Seriously. I wanted to write this because there are people in our past who we hope will never grace our present….or our future. The word “ew” is honestly all I can think of to describe the situation and I know we all have been there. For me, it’s this ex friend. For you, it might be an ex boyfriend. Whoever the vile person may be, they can tend to have a certain power over us and my interaction with this Holy Horror has made me reflect on what I did to move on after the toxic relationship. We all have our ways of healing, but I thought I’d share some tips that helped me move on from this gross relationship and many others too.

Tip #1 -Don’t stay in touch

For realsies! Block the person on all social media, unfriend them…whatever you have to do. Do it! It’s NOT mean. It IS cleansing. Blocking the asshole will help you resist the urge to contact them in the future. Delete their phone number too. Duh!

Tip #2 – Connect with positive people

I mentioned that I collect friends above. The one common all of my friends throughout the years have, is that they are an incredible positive influence in my life. I may not be equally close with all of my friends at any given time, but I know that I can reach out to them for positive and healthy advice just about any time. The Girl mentioned above, She was NOT that person for me. Realizing that just about everyone else in my life is a ray of hope and beacon of light compared to Her, really helped me move on. Why did I want to be around that Crazy in the first place??? Ugh. Your real friends will build you up and celebrate your successes. They will never bring you down. Remember that.

Tip #3 – Reflect on your role in the nasty relationship

This step is really difficult but very important. When I go through tough times, I like to journal by hand. Yup! Old school handwriting for me. The reason I like to hand write things is because when I type I have a tendency to have word vomit because I can type so fast. When I hand write things I am more mindful and reflective. In my friendship with the Enemy, I was so enabling. I allowed this Girl to treat others horribly and I never told Her how uncomfortable it made me. For instance, we were in Miami once and She got us kicked out of a cab because She was so unbelievably rude. I have never been kicked out of anywhere, let alone for being rude. My friend Alix would always say to me, “You would never tolerate this behavior from anyone else, why does She get a pass?” The answer…. I was scared of Her. I knew how mean She could be and I didn’t want to be a part of Her mean streak. I was scared. Now, in relationships, I actively choose not to be friends with people who have a nasty side. I can honestly say that 99.9% of the people in my life are genuinely good people.

Tip #4 – Focus on the good that can come of it

In the heat of a breakup, be it a friend breakup or a lover breakup, it is difficult to focus on the good that can come form riding yourself of negative energy but it’s an imperative step to moving forward in your life. When I cut the Crazy out of my life, I was able to get very close with my cousin and she and I became inseparable for many many years. Without cutting ties from the other girl, I don’t think I would have been able to forge such a strong bond with my cousin. After getting rid of Nut Job, I was able to create thousands of amazing memories with others.

Tip #5 – Time heals all wounds

For years, when I would hear Her name, my heart would jump and I’d feel uncomfortable. I even had nightmares about seeing her in public and it being a big scene. I used to fantasize about all of the things I would say to Her if I did run into Her. It took awhile, but those feelings stopped over time and when we did run into each other, it wasn’t nearly as intense as imagined it to be. I still don’t like Her. I still think She is a horrible person. But ya know what? I was so confident when talking to Her because I have grown and changed in so many awesome ways since we were last friends. It was a really great feeling and ultimately, it gave me great closure. I walked away from our encounter and thought about how lucky I am that She is out of my life and that I have not chosen to have friends like Her ever since…and I never will.

Ultimately, I am thankful to the Crazy for teaching me the lesson that good people do not finish last. Surrounding myself with funny, caring, smart, and loving people has made my life so much more fulfilling and I have Crazy to thank for that.

If you’re in a bad relationship, remember that you are worth so much. You deserve people in your life that will build you up and never break you down. If you find yourself in a situation where you need to break ties with an asshole, I hope my tips will help you get through it. I know it is hard but I also know you can get through it and be stronger and happier for it.

Good luck 🙂 xo

 

 

Modern Moms: Scary as F*ck

It’s almost Halloween and for the first time in my life, I’m more scared of something in real life than I am of anything in the horror flicks.

Ready for it?

I am TERRIFIED of modern moms.

Before I go any further, let’s get some crap on the table.

First, I am not a mom.

Second, because I am not a mom does not mean I can’t have an opinion about moms.

Third, try and read this with the humor it was intended to have.

Okay, so the other day I was listening to NPR and the host of Fresh Air was interviewing an author who wrote a book basically talking about how child rearing is awesome/fulfilling/special but also really freaking hard. I immediately loved her because I personally am so over hearing everyone talk about how their baby’s poop smells like gumdrops and roses. Anyway, the author began talking about how lucky she was to have found a group of mommy friends that aren’t scary or mean. They support her and though they have different methods of parenting, they don’t bicker over it. The author continued to talk about how judgmental moms are and how they hold each other to a ridiculously high standard and I immediately began to think of my Facebook feed lately. I’m 30, so many of my friends and acquaintances have children. My newsfeed is seriously full of babies. Really cute babies. I LOVE babies, but the problem is, tons of moms insist on posting that their baby is the BEST baby….or their breast milk is the BEST milk…or their car seat is the BEST car seat….their nanny is the best nanny…..their this is the best, their that is the best….. You get the picture.

I am honestly a little bit scared to be a mom. I’m not scared to have kids at all but I’m scared to face all of the outward judgement on decisions that my husband and I will make based on what works for our family. Not only am I a little scared of my own friends, but I’m scared of the moms that my future kids will force me to be around. Who will the moms on the PTA be? Who will the moms on the baseball team be? Again, you get the picture. As an outsider, I am truly horrified at how other moms treat one another. I have seen far too many twitter posts with judgmental undertones about breast feeding vs bottle feeding. I have seen far too many Instagram posts about working moms vs stay at home moms (apparently there is a hashtag for that…. #SAHM). I have seen far too many Facebook posts about crying it out, attachment parenting, food allergies, co-sleeping, spanking, organic food, c-sections…and :::gasp::: VACCINATIONS! The list goes on and on. I just want to say that as an outsider, hoping to be an insider someday, I appreciate and enjoy the posts I see where moms are asking for help from fellow moms. I like to read comment sections that are supportive and friendly and not pushy. Why is YOUR way the best way??? How about just saying what worked for you? Remembering that what worked for you might not work for others…. ::sigh:::

While you’re reading this you might have a picture of what sort of mom I’m talking about. For me, I am picturing an upper middle class judgy-uppity-hippie mom with perfect hair. You might be picturing your best friend. Or your worst enemy. The thing is, the scary moms are all over the place. They hide out in the open. One might be sitting right next to you. The other day I saw a mom post on Facebook about how dumb it is that people take their babies to pumpkin patches. The comments on the post were from people who choose not to do those sorts of fall traditions and they just ripped apart the people who do choose to do so. How could we be to the point where we make fun of people for doing something fun/cute/adorable?! Is it perhaps because she felt guilty that she didn’t take her kid to the pumpkin patch??? Know what’s awesome??? Choosing to take your kid to a pumpkin patch or not does not make you a better or worse parent.  The post shocked me because I realized that even the seemingly normal moms, the ones who don’t look perfect 24/7, and don’t mash their own bananas, are still total bitches. Why are you all so mean to each other?!

Am I naive to think that we can all be better about this? Can we go back to olden times and just judge people privately without posting all over the internet about it? We all have our own ways that we like to do things, not just with child rearing, but all things. For instance, I happen to think that leggings are pants…you may not….but let’s not fight about it. K? I’m posting this now because I am YEARS away from having kids and I would really appreciate it if all you moms out there would get it together in the next few years and stop being so highfalutin. Remember, your kid is NOT the cutest, your kid is NOT the smartest, your kid is NOT drinking the breast milk of the Virgin Mary…. BUT you’re all doing something incredibly hard and you’re all doing it SO well. You’re all amazing moms in your OWN ways. Different doesn’t mean bad.

Can we hug now?

POPSUGAR Must Have Unboxing Sept 2015

I uploaded a new video!!! BUT… I’m dumb and accidentally filmed it on the wrong account. WHOOPS! Either way, here it is, just don’t subscribe because this will literally be the only thing I ever post on there haha! Sorry for the crappy quality too. I filmed this off of my webcam because I had literally 15 minutes to get it done. Better quality next time. xo

Cost is $39.95 per month by the by. Want in??? Use my referral code please http://popsu.gr/vaGl

 

Dr. Mary

Hi guys!

I just wanted to write a short post to explain my life as of late. Not an excuse, just an FYI. My blog posts will likely be kept at one to two posts per week for the foreseeable future. I start classes to work on my Ed.D (Education Doctorate) today and then next week I start back up with work. I am so excited for all that is coming up but I’ll just need a hot minute to figure out how to make it all fit. It WILL all fit, just gotta rearrange and prioritize.

Any tips for me?? How do you juggle it all??? I hope you’re following me in instagram so you can keep up to date with all that I’m up to (username MaryS257). In the meantime, I’ll be back with normal blogging posts later this week.

Wish me luck 🙂

About Me